Two years ago, today, we became a family. Enjoy this video full of memories in celebration with us. Thank you for being a part of our journey. Special thanks to Danae, Kelsey, Liv, Audrey, and Jen for the photos and video footage.
Tag: Painter adoption
Celebrate!
A quick update:
Overall, things are going well in our world. We’re still slowly settling into parenthood.
(Ha! Does it ever get easier?!)
Liam is continuing to grow and thrive. He has become very chatty, spouting off the cutest phrases. He loves pre-school and has surprised us this month by showing us that he is ready to learn to read. We are incredibly grateful to be his parents and watch him grow.
Liam turned 5 in November.
This was his first birthday celebration in the U.S., so we wanted to make it special. If you’ve spent time with Liam, you know that he is all about firemen, firetrucks, policemen, playgrounds, sprinkles, and most importantly–PEOPLE. He LOVES people.
And so, we decided to celebrate his birthday with all of his favorite things.
Immediately after his birthday came the holidays (which were wonderful). Then, 2016 began… and suddenly it’s now March?!
Wow. Time flashes by!
Even though I’m extremely late, I didn’t want to miss the opportunity to post about his birthday.
We have so much to celebrate!!
Parenthood and Self-Care
Okay, I am finally coming out of hibernation. Hibernation due to motherhood.
Motherhood is amazing and beautiful… and oftentimes… exhausting. It has taken me a few months to adjust to life with a child, especially jumping in at age 4. We have found a good rhythm now, but I sometimes find myself in an interesting space.
I ask myself questions like:
“Who am I, again?
What do I love to do for fun?
How should I be creative in this season?
What brings me life/recharging?
How do I care for myself?”
Ha! It’s like I have to get to know myself all over again post-motherhood!
After talking about this with some other friends, I know that I’m not the only one asking these questions. I thought I’d take a risk and open up about this with the hopes that maybe we could encourage other parents out there who might be struggling with something similar.
I would love to hear from any of you experienced parents out there. How did you care for yourself once you became a parent? What are some practical, life-giving ideas that have worked for you?
I’m looking forward to hearing your thoughts and ideas.
xo
Our Journey Home
We took this photo minutes before our plane left Uganda on November 15th, 2014. We were thrilled to be heading home after being away for 3 months. We were also incredibly nervous. There were so many questions in our minds…
How will we settle into parenthood at home? How will our family and friends adjust to our new family? Will they embrace our son, who is going through so much transition? How will Liam adjust to life in a new country?
We flew from Entebbe to Brussels to Washington D.C. to Jacksonville (Florida) which was about 35 hours of travel in all.
Liam was a champ. He loved watching movies and eating snacks on the flights. He only had one meltdown— on our last flight. He was so tired. As soon as we got in the air, he fell asleep. We had to wake him from a deep sleep when we landed in Jacksonville so that he could meet our family.
We decided to keep the welcoming party at the airport small as to not overwhelm Liam.
I would’ve loved having loads of people there because I felt like we were returning home from some kind of battle. After being away for 3 months, we were exhausted and really missed our family and community. (In fact, I am still processing and recovering from our time away. Crazy!)
I’ll never forget the way I felt, as we walked off our plane. Such relief! We took a few minutes to hug each other and thank the Lord for bringing our family safely home. Then, we tried to help Liam wake up and prepared him for the family welcome.
We were overcome with emotion as we walked down the hallway with our family in sight.
WE WERE HOME!!!
This was their view….
And look at our view….
There were signs, balloons, and beautiful souls standing in front of us. Just look at those kids!
So sweet! (I tear up every time I look at this photo.)
THIS is a moment I will remember FOREVER.
Family and friends, who’ve journeyed alongside us for years as we’ve prayed for God to give us a child, were celebrating our return home with our son.
So thankful for answered prayers & a dream fulfilled!
Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12
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{ Btw, I have to thank to my friends, Grace and Lex, for capturing these special moments. }
This was Liam’s first kiss from his grandma (my mom).
My husband, Rich– hugging his parents.
Liam meeting Jja-jja and Grandad.
Liam was very clingy and quiet as I chatted with our friends.
But eventually, he flashed a smile.
Something that surprised me: I anticipated being more emotional than I actually was.
I thought I was going to be covered in tears and a blubbering mess.
Nope. Not at all.
I think by the time we arrived home, I was so emotionally and physically exhausted that I was simply too tired to cry. I was running on fumes yet incredibly grateful to be home!
A photo of our parents and my aunt and uncle (who happened to be in town during our arrival).
Beauty in Hardship: Our Final 6 Weeks in Uganda
For those of you that still have an interest, I wanted to share about the end of our time in Uganda.
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The last blog I wrote in Uganda was on October 9th while we were in Masaka, waiting to get our written ruling from the judge. Well, we finally got the written ruling on October 15th, nearly 6 weeks after our court-date.
KAMPALA
We were so happy to head to Kampala, the capital city of Uganda. That is where we would need to go to retrieve our son’s birth certificate, passport, and visa. At that point, we were hopeful that the rest of our process would go smoothly and efficiently, but we’d soon discover that it wouldn’t happen that way.
We were blessed to stay with a lovely family in Kampala—the Harding family. They had a beautiful home and were generous to share space with us for many weeks. Liam loved playing with their son, Emmanuel. We even got to go to a special pool with him one day.
Many of our days in Kampala were spent in waiting. We would fill our days with visits to the various malls in town (Garden City, Acacia Mall, and the Nakumatt Oasis Mall), where we would eat lunch and spend hours on the playground.
Step 1: PASSPORT
As we continued along in the adoption process, we were thankful to learn that we were able to use Liam’s original, long-form birth certificate to start the passport processing.
This process should usually take no more than one week, but we ran into some unforeseen issues.
The passport office was always busy, packed with people. We had to sit on benches under a white tent (because it was usually raining) for sometimes hours, while we waited to file paperwork or find out the status of the passport. Keeping an active toddler occupied during the wait was often a challenge. When we learned that Liam’s passport was going to be delayed, we decided to do something fun to lift our spirits.
A WEEKEND AWAY IN JINJA
To help keep our mind off waiting on the passport, we decided to spend a weekend in Jinja. We stayed at a great little guest house and pizzeria called Surjio’s. Our room had a beautiful view of the Nile River, there was internet, and a pool that Liam enjoyed splashing around in all weekend.
We also took a boat ride to the source of the Nile. It was a beautiful place to get away and relax together.
After 2 weeks and several (4) return visits to the passport office, we FINALLY got his passport on October 29th, 2014. As soon as we had the passport in hand, we sped over to the IOM (International Organization of Immigration) office to see if we could get Liam in to get his medical exam (the next step), but they were closing for the day and told us to come back on October 31st.
Step 2: IOM MEDICAL EXAM
After Liam’s medical exam was completed, we went back on November 3rd to get his TB test read (thankfully, it was negative). We thought that his medical information would be sent immediately to the US Embassy, but we learned that the process had recently been changed. Instead, it would take a week to ten days to process his paperwork. This was bad news for us because it meant that we would have to change our return flights a second time.
Step 3: VISA FILING
We got a visa filing appointment at the Embassy on November 10th. We were so happy! They told us to be prepared to come back in two days (November 12th) to pick up Liam’s visa. Once we got that news, we changed our return flight to the night of November 12th because we were ready to get home.
LIAM’S 4TH BIRTHDAY
The next day was Liam’s fourth birthday! We were excited to celebrate together!!
We spent the day with some dear friends in Entebbe at the Uganda Wildlife Education Centre.
It was a special day.
Final Step: PICK-UP VISA
On the morning of November 12th, we got an email from the embassy notifying us of a problem uploading Liam’s visa file. They were unsure if his visa would be ready in time. We forgot that Liam’s birthday was also Veteran’s Day (November 11th). The US Embassy observed this holiday which meant the office was closed and they were unable to rectify the issue in time.
We were sick. After nearly 3 months in country, we were becoming tired of the constant disappointments.
WOULD THIS BE ANOTHER ONE?
They asked us to keep our original appointment and come to the embassy that afternoon. We packed our bags, loaded them into the car, said “goodbye” to the Harding family, and headed to the embassy with the hope that we could fly home that night.
While we were waiting at the embassy, we watched as 2 families rejoiced over getting their visas. They were flying out that night. Then, we were called into the room where we were told that Liam’s visa wasn’t ready. We were gutted. I was fighting back tears. Rich was frustrated. He began asking questions. The answer to all our questions was, “I’m sorry, there was a glitch in the system.”
As I watched my husband’s emotions flare up, tears started streaming out of my eyes. I was holding Liam and didn’t want him to see me upset. He was caressing my face with concern in his eyes and repeating, “Mommy… airplane!” I was broken-hearted. How were we going to explain to Liam that we couldn’t fly home that night?
We had to deliver the sad news to our families and friends and change our flights a fourth time!
The next day, November 13th, we received word that the visa was FINALLY ready. We had to wait a few days before heading home because there were no flights available until Saturday, November 15th. We were excited and relieved to be heading home!
FINAL THOUGHTS
I will write about our travel and return home in a later post, but I wanted to share one more thing….
We were warned that this process could be unpredictable. When we left the US, we thought we’d be coming back home with our son in 6 weeks. We ended up staying for nearly 3 months. During that time, we experienced many disappointments because things rarely went as promised or expected. Things were totally out of our control. After time, we struggled to trust anyone and wondered if/when we would get to go home. Don’t get me wrong. We had many beautiful moments together, too. We were thrilled to spend so much time bonding with our son in his home country, but at times, we really missed our family and community. It was challenging to make the transition into parenthood so far away from our support network and for that length of time. It was one of the most difficult things we have ever been through, but oh, so worth it.
Thank you to those of you who supported us while we were away.
We are incredibly grateful for God’s strength, grace, and patience during our time in Uganda.
When I watch our son soaking up the love that surrounds him now, it makes all the struggles and frustrations that we experienced seem small. We are very blessed.
“Adoption is not for the faint of heart. But SO worth it!” – Unknown
Okoa Refuge
Now that we are back in the states, I’d love to share a bit about a special place called Okoa Refuge.
“Okoa” is a Swahili word that means “to save; to rescue; to redeem; or to take away from the fire.”
Okoa Refuge is a nonprofit organization with a vision to bring hope and healing to the people of Africa and the world.
Here is their mission statement:
“As an organization we strive to have the utmost integrity and servitude in all we do in order to grow orphans of all ages spiritually, physically and mentally to be responsible, motivated, educated and compassionate men and women who will be leaders and grow their communities and country. We aim to provide the opportunity for children to have a future and to give them a better life than they had previously.”
Our son lived at Okoa Refuge for nearly 18 months.
There, he received incredible love from Okoa’s amazing staff.
There, he had a family.
There, he learned about God’s love, and for that we are forever grateful!
His “orphanage parents” (Liv and Tyler) have become dear friends of ours. They, along with the staff, did a terrific job of preparing Liam for his new family. This made our transition SO MUCH easier.
Below, is a photo of our first moment together. Liam is holding Liv’s hand as he meets us for the first time. I cry every time I think about this sweet moment–the handoff from one mother to another. So beautiful!
Here are some more photos of our first day together, playing at Okoa….
We loved worshipping with the Okoa family…
…and getting to know Liam’s buddies.
We are so thankful that we had an opportunity to see and experience all that’s happening at Okoa Refuge. We are especially grateful for the way this organization has influenced and changed the life of our son. Many thanks to Liv and Tyler (pictured below) for following God’s calling even when it’s been ridiculously challenging. We love you guys!
Also, we want to thank another Okoa staff-member that has a heart of gold. Her name is Kelsey (she took many of the photos in this post). We are so inspired by the way she loves others and trusts God. She was a great influence in Liam’s life, and we love her!
Okoa is an INCREDIBLE organization.
This home for orphans is only a part of what they are doing (and hope to do) in Uganda. If you would like to make a difference in the lives of children and people there, please support them.
We cannot wait to go back and see what God has done!
Oh! And there is an another organization close to my heart that helps support Okoa– The McKenzie Noelle Wilson Foundation. You can read the full story here, but I spent several years as a nanny for McKenzie’s family before she passed away unexpectedly in 2010. It was such a joy to stand with our son in front of the Girls’ Home that was built in her memory (“Amaka ga McKenzie”–McKenzie’s Home), knowing that she was rejoicing along with us in heaven.
We sure do miss you, McKenzie!
We’re home!
We are thrilled to introduce you to our son:
Liam Kakooza (pronounced “Kakōza”) Painter.
After nearly 3 months in Uganda, we returned home from Africa on November 16th. A few days after we got home, I got sick with the respiratory flu and was in bed for 3 days straight. Thank God that we had family around to help us. Over the last 2 weeks we have been laying low, enjoying time with our families.
At some point, I would like to blog about the end of our adoption process, but that will have to come later. I am trying to spend less time on social media and more time “being present” so that we can enjoy quality time together as a family.
Liam is doing amazingly well. He ADORES his family. He is completely surrounded by love and is absolutely thriving. I can’t fully express how I feel now that he is home and getting to know his family—my heart is full. Adoption is an incredible thing. God is so good. He led us straight to Liam—this amazing child who is going to change the world. I just know it.
Thanks to all of you who have been following our journey.
We are forever grateful for your prayers and support!!
Lord, help us to be parents that guide, empower, and equip Liam to go out and do amazing things for you!
Thank you for adoption.
Thank you for our new son!
Day 43: The Post I’ve Been Avoiding
Yes, I’ve been avoiding an update… Why? Because there isn’t much to report.
We have been waiting on a signature from our judge for 5 weeks. 5 WEEKS! We found out that he has typhoid fever and was in the hospital, so we have been praying for his health to improve. A few days ago, our lawyer suggested that we fly back to the US because she’s not exactly sure how long we will be waiting. This was not the news we wanted to hear.
We have spent 5 weeks with our son and have made incredible progress in the areas of trust, attachment, and bonding. I can’t even imagine leaving him here while we go home to wait this out. Going home is not an option right now.
And so… we will continue to wait.
Things are completely out of our control.
We are powerless.
We are really trying to trust God and enjoy the little moments with our boy.
We so appreciate your prayers.
Please pray specifically that the judge feels better and goes to work tomorrow.
xo
Day 22: In Waiting
We are still waiting on the judge to give us his written ruling….
It looks like we might be here for a while.
We are praying for patience and thankful for each day we get to spend with our son.
Also, I think the “new parent honeymoon” is officially over. We are experiencing typical toddler behaviors–like pouting, whining, boundary pushing, crying, more crying, and did I mention crying?? Ha! We are also experiencing loads of laughter, smiles, joy, immense love, and delicious snuggles. We are exhausted, yet loving every minute!
I apologize if my last blog post seemed overly negative. I wanted to give people at home an idea of our routine here in Africa. With each day, we find ourselves embracing more and more the unique (and slower) rhythm of life here. It is so different from anywhere else we’ve lived! We recognize that it is a blessing to be here and to “get to know” this special place in which our son has spent his first years.
And so…
We will wait and see what each new day brings.
Thanks for all your prayers and encouragement!! We’ve needed it!
xo
August 31, 2014 // Gotcha Day!
I’m a little late in posting this. This is a run-down of all the events on August 31, 2014— a.k.a. our Gotcha Day!
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Oh, what a day!
Farouk (our driver in Uganda) picked us up from Emmaus in the morning. We were told to arrive in Masaka at 4:00 PM, so we decided to leave a bit early and have lunch at the Equator line.
About an hour into our two-hour journey, we got a flat tire on the highway. Farouk pulled our van off to the shoulder, which was basically 5 feet of dirt that separated a massive ditch from the highway. This was a very busy road and the tire that needed changed was nearest to the highway. Farouk had to sit in the road to do the work, which made us very nervous.
Rich walked down the road to help get the cars to try and move over. When traffic whizzed by at speeds upwards of 60 MPH, Farouk would have to stand up and flatten himself up against the van. It was difficult to watch. Because he was in the road and didn’t have the leverage he needed, he had to cross the highway to find a rock the size of a watermelon to help him jack the car up. As if that wasn’t enough, dark gray clouds were rolling in… a storm was coming!!
Just as the rain came, a man approached us babbling a bunch of words in Lugandan. You could tell the man was dealing with some kind of mental illness. He lingered around us for 15 minutes, shouting and stumbling on and off the highway near passing cars. Farouk kept asking him to leave us alone, but the man wouldn’t listen. All of a sudden, the man ran up to me and grabbed my arm with a very tight grip. Farouk, who was crouched down beneath the car, jumped up immediately, grabbed a rock, and he and Rich chased the man off. What a scene! Farouk told us to get inside the (jacked up) van during the worst of the storm, while he had to complete the work outside in the pouring rain, all the while getting splashed as the cars rushed by on the highway. After about an hour Farouk finally got the spare tire on the van. He is amazing. We couldn’t have asked for a better driver!!
We stopped at the Equator line to grab a photo and have a traditional African lunch of posho, sweet potato, and beans.
When we got to Masaka, we were able to drop our things at the guesthouse before heading to the orphanage to meet our little boy. When we got to the orphanage, we decided that the director would go get our little one and bring him to us. (Side-note: this director and staff did a remarkable job of prepping us and our little guy for this day. I can’t wait to talk publicly about this amazing orphanage when we get back to the US. One of their staff members took all the photos below.)
The next thing we know, our little guy was walking up to us, holding hands with the director. I immediately got down on his level and said “hello!” while trying to fight back tears of joy. He didn’t say a word but walked straight into my arms. He immediately laid his head on my shoulder and put his arms around me. He stayed like this for nearly 15 minutes. I was repeatedly whispering in his ear “I love you.” Rich was rubbing his back and talking to him as well. We will never forget this moment—our “gotcha moment!”
A bit later, we coaxed him to the playground area, where we got down and played with sand. It wasn’t long and we heard the most jolly laugh spring forth from him. He was smiling ear-to-ear, playing with us–his mommy and daddy! A few minutes later he started pointing at us, saying “Daddy, Mommy!”
Then, he got on a tricycle and started showing off his ability to race-down the hill. His legs are too short to reach the pedals, so he would lift up his feet and coast down the hill, often crashing into the wall at the bottom. He loved having us run beside him, cheering him along. He would then stand up and run back up the hill, waddling with his bare feet on either side of the tricycle. This was hard work for him and he repeated this activity nearly 10 times with a huge smile! I loved seeing his determination. He loved all the attention he was getting from us!
One thing we learned is that he speaks mostly Luganda, so we are dealing with a little bit of a language barrier. An hour into our time together, he was becoming more talkative—repeating what we would say. I think he’ll pick up English quickly.
He loved being carried by us. When he was in our arms, he would caress our hair. It was so sweet.
He also started singing a song. The words were, “I love you, Daddy. I love you, Mommy.” My heart melted. He sings!! It was so great to hear him say those words to us, but to also hear them being sung?!! Wow. So moving.
Then, he started singing “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star.” His voice was beautiful. He could carry a tune!! He loves to sing!! Hallelujah!
We stayed to watch him eat dinner. He loves food. He shoveled it into his mouth with his hands, as did all his peers. He ate his beans first, then the noodles, and the rice last. He was the first of his peers to finish eating, and he sat there patiently while they finished.
Finally, after dinner is bedtime. We stayed to watch his evening routine. He put on his pajamas. Then we said “goodnight” to him and put him in his bed. He didn’t want us to go, which was a good sign. We told him we’d be back in the morning, and his caregiver repeated our words in Lugandan. He seemed to understand, and got himself under his blankets.
It was difficult to leave him. We love him so much and can’t wait to spend our lives with him.
Only 2 more nights, sweet boy… then, you can come stay with Mommy and Daddy forever!
PAINTERlove 